He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
