So drunk its hurt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
