Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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