ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
