You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
