well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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