Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
