my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
