You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
