I must be too annoying 4 u.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
