Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
