Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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