he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
