Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dicks are not precious.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
