I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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