it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
