walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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