I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
