She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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