yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
