if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
tell your sister to shave her snatch
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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