oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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