This girl is more easily done than said...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
