i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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