We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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