I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
