Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
