That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
