It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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