I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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