I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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