This house was built for laser tag.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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