Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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