My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
