yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So apparently I’m into choking now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
