that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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