he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
