Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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