I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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