I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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