i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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