she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
