he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
