Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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