Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
