is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was born a porn star she said
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
