No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
