how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
