I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Small penises have feelings too.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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