They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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