just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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