Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
