i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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