Soap is not a condiment
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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