She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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