You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
