The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
