I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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