That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Randomize