I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
