I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
