Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
