singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.