Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM