You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
