that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol