he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.