Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
